As December draws to a close, and a whole new decade is on the horizon, many of us find ourselves in a more reflective mood than most months. The closing of a year (or in this case a decade), naturally draws us to look back over the last 365 days, mentally reviewing the good, the so-so and the never-to-be-repeated moments of 2019. Whilst gratefully there will be a whole host of happy memories in amongst the list, for most of us, our brains are hardwired to focus on the negatives or the “room for improvement”. With the start of the new year feeling like a symbolic clean slate, and the awareness of what we could do better fresh in our minds, thousands of us this week will decide on our resolutions for 2020.
It all seems so logical, positive and even driven. Proactively trying to make something bigger and better out of our next turn round the sun. But if it's all so instinctive, why is it that only 1 in 10 of us will keep our promises to ourselves and 66% will give up before we’re even done with January?
Of course the reasons why resolutions fail will differ for each person each year, but a common theme is that despite your positive intentions, resolutions inherently come from a place of lack.
Coming from a place of lack
The most common resolutions people make are - to lose weight, to exercise more, to eat less junk and to spend less money. Whilst in themselves these are sensible goals and may even hugely benefit your year to come, focusing on these things is like signposting your brain to notice how overweight you are, how unfit you feel and how many bills you have to worry about. The resolutions we choose often come from a place of not feeling enough in the first place, setting us up to fail and only to reinforce our negative feelings when we inevitably reach for the biscuits mid January.
So what exactly can we do to help our brains see these resolutions in the positive and improve our chances of success?
Start with the positives
As trivial as it sounds, how we frame our goals can have a huge impact on their success. And understanding a little about how our brains process these things is the key.
“Having a sunny outlook can help you make better resolutions and be more successful in achieving them.”
Our society is pretty goal driven and most of us grow up familiar with the idea that you must first work hard to succeed before you reap the rewards of your efforts to feel happiness. But happiness expert Shawn Achor believes it’s actually the other way around. Having a sunny outlook can help you make better resolutions and be more successful in achieving them. Importantly, when the brain is positive, neurochemicals like dopamine are released to switch on a part of the brain that allows you to perceive more possibilities, this allows you to process more information and ultimately create more opportunities. A negative mindset on the other hand, causes the brain to feel threatened, you stimulate the parts of your brain more akin to surviving than thriving and there is no space left for creativity when your brain is on high alert.
So when it comes to setting your intentions for the year to come make sure you start from a place of optimism. In the same way that a long distance runner speeds up towards the home straight, our brains release chemicals known as “success accelerants”, that give us more energy as we perceive being closer to the finish line. Starting your resolution list from a feeling of negativity towards yourself means you lose the advantage of these accelerants.
“Focus on what genuinely made you happy, proud or content in the year before. ”
A quick way to tip the balance in your favour is to spend a few minutes writing down all the things you are grateful for in 2019. (Download our FREE Gratitude Template to get you started HERE). Focus on what genuinely made you happy, proud or content in the year before. Enjoy the memories and sensations that come up as you write them down. Knowing you are actually prepping your brain chemicals ready to build on the positives you already have!
Choose Your Words
Now we know how much better our brains work in the positive, it’s easy to understand why resolutions that simply ask you to stop negative habits don’t work very well. As simple as it sounds the language you use can make a huge difference. Rather than “I will not eat junk food in 2020”, try re-framing the same resolution to “I will eat five pieces of fruit and veg every day”. Suddenly your brain is aware of the new positive habit you are aiming for, and when you chow down on that fifth bit of veg you feel good, your brain creates those lovely chemicals that help you to feel positive for physically achieving your new habit, and buoys you for tomorrow's attempt. In contrast, when you focus on what you should not eat, even on a “successful” day, your attention is drawn to continuously thinking about what you would like to eat but shouldn't.
Resolutions vs. Intentions
It may sound like semantics, but there is a real difference between setting a resolution and an intention. As we now know, resolutions often come from an initial feeling of lack and threaten the shadow of further disappointment if not fulfilled. An intention is softer than that. It is a positive awareness of a goal or a direction and asks the question how best to support that goal. There is no declaration and therein lies its power, there is no right or wrong or threat of failure. An intention comes open ended and full of opportunities you may be yet to discover. The process of exploring your intentions is in itself a positive experience and so organically supports you to step closer and closer towards your goal, feeding the positive chemicals in your brain and inspiring more creativity and optimism.
Ancient eastern wisdom has been practicing these intentions or “Sankalpas” for centuries.
Setting Your Sankalpa
Sankalpas are recognised as deeply ingrained intentions that grow from and lead you towards your existing qualities and the fullest expression of your personality. They can take many forms but generally centre on a belief or value that comes to the fore when you imagine yourself at your best such as “I am aware and appreciative of all the good things I have in my life”, “I am confident and competent”. Whatever comes up, when you discover your intention it should come with a sense of contentment or peace, a feeling that you are on the right track. This is a process of free reign, think big and enjoy what comes up, but when choosing your sankalpa to work with, start small initially. It is easier to direct your attention and focus on one intention at a time so choose a specific intention to start your practice and trust yourself to continue in the right direction.
“Whatever comes up, when you discover your intention it should come with a sense of contentment or peace, a feeling that you are on the right track. ”
If you already have a regular meditation practice, setting your sankalpa may feel like a pretty standard process. If not, it’s still simple. Start by sitting quietly asking yourself “What area of my life would I like to bring more awareness to?” Remember there is no right or wrong but try not to be led by your conscious thoughts. Sankalpas are not a product of conscious decision making, they are more of a discovery from somewhere deep. What comes up may even surprise you.
Next ask yourself “What would my life be like if I explored this further?”, “How would I feel?”. Allow yourself to explore the answers to these questions, you may even wish to repeat the process a few times but once you have settled on an intention, breathe deeply and enjoy the physical or emotional sensations that come with it. Then simply let it go. Like a seed planted in the garden doesn't need you to physically make it grow, you just plant the intention and have faith. The metaphorical watering in this case is to practice coming back to your intention on a regular basis.
An easy way to do this is to daily repeat your sankalpa to yourself 3 times when you wake up and 3 times before you go to sleep. Every time enjoying the positive feelings that come with it. You could do this as part of a daily yoga practice, or even as part of your working day. Any time that works for you to regularly bring your attention and focus back to your sankalpa and the positive mindset that comes with it will help to keep your attention on working towards your goal.
Summary
We all want our next year to be our best, to feel happier, healthier and more in line with a sense of purpose. Knowing that our brains are hardwired to look for negatives helps us to consciously steer our brains away from these patterns and instead foster more creativity, optimism and ultimately more opportunities in our year to come. So when you set your resolutions for this year, give your brain the helping hand it needs, practice gratitude for the year past, reflect on how your intentions make you feel, are you fearful of failing or hopeful about the prospect? And perhaps take the time to explore your own sankalpa. A resolution comes from a place of lack, of consciously wanting more than you have. A sankalpa comes from an acknowledgment of what and who you are at your best and with regular practice can help you along the path to just that.
Whatever your intentions for the year to come, from Latitude Wellbeing to the world, have a happy, healthy and hopeful new year!
Want to get your new year off to a good start and explore the practice of yoga, meditation and intentions for yourself. Join us this January for a New Year Yoga & Meditation Retreat in Oxfordshire.